The Guru Highlights Trends for Golf Meeting Groups in 2019

If you're planning a golf group outing or just attending one, check out what the Guru and other experts predict will be the leading trends in 2019 in the December issue of Meetings Today. Click to: Meetings Today Digital Magazine

10 Most Ridiculous Golf Course Antics

It's part of the Guru's job description to play lots of golf courses. I've been lucky to play everything from high-end Top 100 courses to no frills munis and nine-hole layouts. Believe me, I've seen the good, the bad and the ugly.

Some golf courses just don't get it. Here are 10 of the most ridiculous golf course antics I see during my travels:

1. Drill Sergeant Starters

He barely says hello because he's so intent on delivering an 8-minute manifesto on the do's and don'ts on the golf course. In his mind, he's the all-knowing drill sergeant of the fairways and you're the wussy, idiot numbskull teenager just off the bus on the way to basic training. If you really want to get under this guy's skin then forget your receipt. All hell will break loose. You'll be humiliated in front of your group and forced to head back to the pro shop to prove that your not some trespassing loser.

2. Do Nothing Rangers

Hey, I realize many of these rangers are retired guys just trying to get some free golf and get away from the wife for a few hours, but too many of them don't enforce any sort of pace-of-play policy. My gosh, I always seem to get behind the slow poke foursome with guys checking yardage books, lining up putts like its a U.S. Open qualifier and taking 15 practice swings. Then, I see a ranger and I think , "Oh boy, he's gonna really nail these clowns." Nope, not really. Nothing but crickets as "Do Nothing Ranger Guy" whizzes by totally oblivious to the slow play everywhere on the course.

3. $5 Water and $7 Beer

I love it when I'm playing golf on a 98 degree July day in Florida and sweating my coconuts off and along comes the concession cart with their $5 water and $7 beer.  I cough up the fiver because I don't want to be dehydrated and I pay the $7 because my game is trending downward rapidly and I'm desperate for some swing oil.  Yet, when I'm drinking either beverage the only thing I can think of, is: "Wow, what the heck is the profit margin on these drinks?" When I calculate the answer, I really get pissed off at the golf course.

4. Aerated and Poor Quality Greens

Some golf courses protect announcement of their aeration dates with CIA style secrecy. Then they happily charge you full price to putt on ridiculous, bumpy greens that make a round of golf excruciating. Even worse are the bumpy, poorly maintained greens that haven't been aerated. Honestly, I'll take a fairway full of weeds and unkept bunkers if I can putt on well-maintained greens that aren't slow and shaggy.

5. Crazy Mower Guy and Overzealous Maintenance Guy

I understand lots of the course maintenance guys might not play golf, but sometimes their behavior is a bit annoying. For instance, when mower guy (usually wearing a bandana over his nose to fight off the pollen) comes roaring over a hill, pedal to the metal, just as you're in your backswing. Or how about the guys raking fairway bunkers that move in slow motion while you wait on the tee.

6. Terrible Signage and Yardage Markers

Some courses don't want to spend money on signage so you wander around in your cart aimlessly trying to find the next hole. It's annoying and slows down the pace of play. Also, not everyone carries a rangefinder so please at least give us a stake or bush denoting 100 and 150 yards and perhaps the yardages on sprinkler heads. Is that too much to ask? Once again, with limited yardage markers, it slows down play. Sometimes I wonder if they want us out there for five hours so they can sell us overpriced beer and water.

7. Crappy Practice Range

Kudos to golf courses with great practice ranges, but I've been to some (and not just munis, either) where the range is a joke. The beat up range balls look like they've been there since the 1970s, the mats are worn out and slick or the grass on the teeing areas looks like a beat up polo field. I find it a total waste of time to hit balls at a substandard range.

8. Cynical Pro Shop People

These are the guys that are sick and tired of folding shirts and resent the fact they're a scratch golfer and they have to kiss ass to dubbers and hackers who can't crack 100. You meet lots of friendly pro shop people, but be aware of the cynical, bitter guy who washed up on the mini-tours and ended up behind the counter. Sadly, he's come to the realization that shooting par on any pro tour will result in nothing but missed cuts and a quick pipeline to the golf retail industry.

9. Lousy Club Cleaner Guy

Let's face it, we all this annoying drill...These guys want a tip and nothing else matters. They don't give a rat's ass about your clubs and actually cleaning them. Generally, it's a cursory wipe with a grimy, wet towel and this mediocre service is supposed to be worth a few dollars. Their ultimate goal is get green in their pocket, not off your clubs. Yet, we always pay. I've never stiffed a lousy club cleaner guy, but I'm not satisfied with the service very often.

10. No 9-hole Rate

Hey, times have changed. More people (especially millennials and busy business types) don't have the time or inclination to devote four or five hours to a round of golf. We need more courses offering 9 hole rates and perhaps even 6-hole or 12-hole rates. The ideal for people that like to walk and play like the Guru would be offering special 9-hole, walking rates after 3 p.m.

10 Reasons You Should Visit Topgolf

Oh yes, I've heard my share of whining traditionalists who say Topgolf is overrated and won't help grow the game of golf. Hey Doug Downers, I don't care what you say, I love the place and I think it's a fantastic way to showcase the great game of golf.

Will Topgolf translate to more millennials playing golf in the future? 

Only time will tell, however, everytime I visit Topgolf I see people of all ages (and lots of millennials) smiling and having fun with a game that many people think is just too difficult to enjoy.

Here are 10 reasons you must visit Topgolf:

1. Everybody Is Welcome--Arguably, the biggest reason why people don't play golf is the intimidation factor. For those who've played the game for decades, it's difficult to to comprehend the anxiety non-golfers feel when they arrive at a golf course for the first time. Quite frankly, at Topgolf these neophytes don't have to worry about "serious" golfers smirking or making fun of them (whether those behaviors are real or imagined).

2. Even Non-Golfers and The Clueless Have Fun--People who don't know a golf ball from a croquet ball can have fun at Topgolf without all the angst and pressure. So what, if it takes a few Margaritas, Moscow Mules or Blue Moons and some chicken and waffle sliders to get people swinging a golf club. In many cases, these are the same people who would never even go near a golf course. Geez, about 40% of Topgolf customers have never played golf. You can drum up all the "Let's Play Golf" programs by all sorts of well-intentioned golf organizations, and they still won't get non-golfers excited about the game like Topgolf.

3. Easy way to Play Games--Each 6-person hitting bay has an easy-to-use touchscreen that allows you to play seven different point-scoring golf games. Everything from driving to chipping. One of the best games for groups that have both beginning and experienced golfers is the "Top Scramble", where players split into teams and the best score on each ball is used as the score for the team.  "TopDrive" is popular with the grip it and rip crowd who want to see who's longest off the tee.

4. Terrific Technology--Players hit golf balls containing computer microchips that track each shot's accuracy and distance while also awarding points for hitting large, medium and small targets set on a giant outfield. It's like playing some come-to-life video game, but much more fun and interactive with other players. In Orlando, which opened October 20, 2017, they have Topgolf Toptracer technology, which allows you to trace the track of your shots just like you see on television network golf coverage.

5. Light Shows and Colorful Targets Create a Positive Vibe--The targets are bright and colorfully lit and you get that same sense of fun and frivolity you experience at a state fair or theme park. I don't care if you're a two-year old tagging along with the folks or an 82-year old who just wanted to finally see what this golf thing was all about, the colors at Topgolf will excite you. At night, they have fun and dynamic light shows that are inspiring.

6. Fab Food--While golf is certainly a big draw, I think one of the secrets to Topgolf's overall appeal is its well-prepared, innovative food. The magnet is a chef-driven,  full-service restaurant and all sorts of interesting and delicious apps and entrees. While the Guru is  shanking balls off the tee, some of my favorite things to nosh on are the Bacon Mac "N" Cheese Spring Rolls, Pepperoni Flatbread and the Sunrise Burger (with a fresh egg on top). Make no mistake, food is not an afterthought at Topgolf, but an integral part of the overall experience.

7. Epic Bar and Drinks--The Guru is known to hoist a few, especially after playing a great round of golf. I've also visited my share of pubs, bars and lounges around the world and I'm a big "Happy Hour" guy. That said, hopefully I've established some sort of credibility when it comes to great bars and libations. I love Topgolf's upscale, rectangular shaped, full-service bar. It has sort of an upscale "Cheers" feel to it as well as good craft beer list, a wine list (you can order by the glass, bottle or even can) and some creative cocktails. While my go-to drink is a Ginger Ale and Jameson, a couple of my fave Topgolf Original Cocktails are the Topgolf Tea (Tito's Vodka, Superior Rum, Bombay Sapphire Gin and fresh lemon) and the Tipsy Palmer (Deep Eddy Sweet Tea Vodka, Absolut Citron, freshly brewed iced tea and fresh lemon). 

8. Employee Enthusiasm--With all the luxury appointments and smiling and laughing people enjoying golf, it's no wonder the employees always seem to be in a good mood. Gotta feeling they've got a pretty good training program, too.  

9. Topgolf U Lessons--They'll even teach you-- in an non-intimidating way-- how to play golf if you get the bug and want to give the game a go and eventually tee it up at an authentic green grass course. There are excellent classes for beginners, junior and ladies. For intermediate and advanced golfers, there's a 60-minute skills class focusing on proper swing technique and mechanics.

10. The Topgolf Crush Series--This is where they bring the Topgolf concept to major stadiums and arenas around the nation. There are giant targets on the field or court and players hit from elevated tee bays. It's a high-energy, festival-style experience with excellent music, food and drink. Among the previous Crush locations are Austin, Kansas City, Nashville, Orlando and Seattle. 

10 Annoying Things About Golf

Laying on my couch this weekend watching the PGA Championship and U.S. Women's Amateur, I had a few minutes during commercials to write down some of the things that annoy me about golf these days.

1. I absolutely love Topgolf, but the golf media should please stop saying it'll bring more Millennials to golf. Noshing on upscale appetizers and copping a buzz from fancy cocktails before you hit some electronic golf balls is not really golf.

2. Enough already with dumb ideas like high-top golf shoes, golf sandals and track pants. Hey folks, we're supposed to be playing golf not shooting hoops or hangin' at the beach.

3. Hey LPGA and USGA, please stop having 12 and 13 year olds compete in your major championships. It just seems so sad to see these whippersnappers beat the heck out of your pros and college golfers.

4. Hello LPGA! Stop with the dress code. These are grown women. If Lexi Thompson, Belen Mozo and Paige Spiranac want to work out and wear form fitting clothing on the golf course, what's wrong with that. What you should outlaw is all of the boring outfits many players wear during tournaments.

5. Speed up play on the PGA Tour. Enough with the six hour rounds. My gosh, I've seen scramble tournaments with beer swilling participants play faster than some of these guys.

6. Attention PGA Tour, LPGA Tour and any other professional tour. Please don't use golf courses that have ridiculous false fronts on greens. I despise seeing golfers hit the green and have the ball roll off 20 yards back into the fairway. 

7. Leave Tiger Woods alone, golf media. I know he's worth millions of clicks and viewers, but let the man live in peace till he decides to tee it up again. And puh-leeze don't run that mug shot again. 

8. Hey PGA Tour, try to find more players like John Daly and Beef Johnston to counteract all of the lifeless robots playing on Tour.

9. At professional tour events, please instantly remove any fan that yells "Baba Booey", "Cheeseburger", "Mash Potatoes",  "in the hole", "you da man", etc. Especially "you da man" (that's so 1990s)

10. Hey adult fans (kids are ok), please stop trying to hand slap PGA Tour players as they walk from one hole to the next. It just seems so sad to see adult jock sniffers be so desperate.

10 Fearless Predictions for Golf in 2017

No, I didn't pick the Cubs to win the World Series. No, I didn't pick Clemson to beat Bama for the NCAA National Championship. And I certainly didn't pick Danny Willett to win the 2016 Masters...

I did pick the U.S.A. to win the 2016 Ryder Cup, so I guess I have some credibility, right? Don't answer that, please.

That said, here are some of The Guru's best predictions for 2017:

--The future is now. More golf courses will finally wake up and start pricing green fees by the hour or by the hole. Recently, the Lodge at Four Seasons in Lake Ozark, Missouri started pricing by the hour. They're hoping it will speed up play and allow golfers who only want to play a few holes to "pay for what they play". Hey Millennials, you asked for it, you got it.

--The U.S. dollar will stay strong and golf travel will surge this year. Biggest benefactors will be Ireland, Scotland, South Africa and New Zealand.

--The most exciting new courses debuting in 2017 will be Mike Keiser's Sand Valley in Wisconsin, Streamsong Black in Florida and Trinity Forest in Texas.

--Young studs Hideki Matsuyama and Justin Thomas will make a huge impact on the PGA Tour in 2017.

--Green will be the popular color choice for golf apparel in 2017. Who says so? The Golf Travel Guru, that's who. No, not just me. Various golf clothing companies are pushing all shades of green this year from olive to fluorescent to Masters green.

--The U.S. Open will be a great one at Erin Hills Golf Club in Wisconsin. Set on rolling terrain formed by glaciers, the course designed by Michael Hurdzan, Dana Fry and Ron Whitten, has dramatic ridges, contours and panoramas. Erin Hills is located 35 miles northwest of Milwaukee and 115 miles from Chicago.

--More people will experience golf outside traditional golf courses at venues like Topgolf, Flying Tee and driving ranges. Uh, let's not forget golf simulators, too.

--Major championship winners will be Rory McIlroy (Masters), Dustin Johnson (U.S. Open),  Sergio Garcia (British Open) Patrick Reed (PGA Championship

--Topgolf will continue to soar in popularity with those who love golf and cocktails and others who don't know a golf club from a tennis racquet. In fall 2017, Topgolf Orlando (Florida) will debut. Coming soon are Topgolf's in Miami Gardens, Florida, Nashville, Tennessee, El Paso and Fort Worth in Texas and Birmingham, Alabama.

--Tiger Woods will experience some minor back issues before he wins a minor tournament at the end of the year.

Best Event to See Golf Legends

Fortunately, most of golf's living legends congregate in one place annually at the Ritz Carlton Golf Club in Orlando.

From Jack Nicklaus, Lee Trevino and Hale Irwin to John Daly, Nick Price and Nick Faldo, the fairways are teeming with golf icons at the PNC Father Son Challenge, which is staged every December. The unique tournament joins 20 of golf's legends with their son or daughter in a professional competition.

If you want to see some of golf's biggest and most popular stars up close and personal, I highly suggest you attend this tournament. The stars are very approachable off the course and the crowds are limited so you're often just a few feet away on tee boxes and greens from some of the greatest players who've ever picked up a club. Better still, the tickets are very reasonably priced.

The Ritz Carlton Golf Club, which sits behind The Ritz-Carlton, Orlando and JW Marriott Orlando hotels at Grande Lakes Resort, is fairly flat and an easy walk so you can stroll along with the greats. An excellent resort course, it was designed by Greg Norman.

I've attended the tournament for several years and it's easily become one of my favorites to enjoy and celebrate the great game of golf. No other sport celebrates its great players like golf.

This year the team of John Daly and "Little John" Daly stole the show, so to speak, with their brightly colored pants/shorts, friendly demeanor and long balls off the tee. The tournament winners were David Duval and his stepson Nick Karavites, who out dueled Fred Funk and his son Taylor and Retief Goosen and his son Leo.

Some of the other greats who teed it up at the 2016 PNC Father Son Challenge were Raymond Floyd, Larry Nelson, Vijay Singh, Curtis Strange, Lanny Wadkins, Lee Janzen, Sandy Lyle, Bernhard Langer, Stewart Cink, Steve Elkington and Mark O'Meara. All the participating pros must have won a Major or a Players Championship to be part of the field.

The absence of Arnold Palmer was clearly felt this year. Arnie absolutely loved the tournament and participated seven times. Palmer was instrumental in launching the event more than 20 years ago.

Baseball has its Old-Timers games and football greats gather at the Pro Football Hall of Fame every year, but golf has arguably the best way to see and enjoy its greatest stars--it's called the PNC Father Son Challenge.

See you there next year!

10 Emerging Millennials Golf and Travel Trends

Remember Tiger Woods? While golf's injured supernova has been sitting on the sidelines, Millennials like Jordan Spieth, Jason Day, Rickie Fowler and Dustin Johnson have moved to the forefront of the game signaling an upcoming seismic shift in the sport on and off the course.

Millennials, who range in age 16 to 34 years of age, are just beginning to make their impact on golf and travel. If you're involved in either one of these industries, or both, I highly suggest you start preparing for the onslaught of the Snapchat and smoothies generation. There are 79 million of them in the U.S. and they spend $600 billion dollars a year. In five years, the oldest of the generation will be pushing 40.

Here are 10 top Millennial trends important to the golf and travel industries:

1. Social Media is an amazing Millennial influencer--Whether it's viewing a dramatic picture on Instagram or reading a favorable tweet about a hotel or golf course on Twitter, Millennials are heavily influenced by reviews and comments on social media. Quite simply, if you want to reach Millennials and impact their golf and travel decisions, a strong presence on social media is absolutely imperative.  It's estimated that 75% of Millennials post while they're on vacation. If you want to reach Millennials, you can forget about old school paper brochures, newspaper travel articles and cheesy magazine ads. 

2. Why Millennials travel--Millennials love to travel with a purpose. They want to experience new cultures, cuisine and activities. Moreover, they want to visit interesting destinations where they can post pictures that get lots of attention and "likes". Millennial golfers want to play on courses that are both challenging and photogenic so their buddies back home can see what they're missing via social media.

3. Millennial golf trends--While the Baby Boomers cry was "Let's Play 36!", Millennials are more prone to saying "Let's Play Golf in Many Different Ways." Increasingly popular are playing nine holes or less, pay-by-hole, night golf and golf simulator competitions. Many Millennial golfers don't want to be locked into the traditional 18-hole golf experience. A hugely popular off-site golf activity, Topgolf entertainment complexes appeal to tech-addicted Millennials with point-scored electronic golf games that anyone, regardless of skill level, can play. In a plush sports-bar-style environment, players hit a golf ball containing a personalized microchip into a series of targets ranging from 20 to 240 yards away. Topgolf, which has an upscale food and beverage menu and can host group events, has locations that include Scottsdale, Atlanta, Chicago, Dallas, Las Vegas, Houston and Austin, Texas, and Alexandria, Va. A new, expansive Topgolf is under construction in Orlando, Florida.

4. What Millennials LIKE at resorts and hotels--There are an increasing number of hotel chains such as Aloft, W, Kimpton and Hyatt Centric that cater directly to Millennial needs.  Millennials desire large spacious lobbies where they can spread out and lounge with their electronic devices, coffee bars, lounges with big selections of craft beers, sports bars teeming with large screen televisions, lawn games like corn hole and bocce ball, a large number of charging stations in the lobby and hotel common areas, outdoor lounging spaces with comfy chairs, couches and connectivity and healthy food choices.

5. What Millennials don't like at resorts and hotels--They DISLIKE hotels that charge for Wifi, don't have mobile check-in and don't have texting communication with guests. Millennials also could care less about a mini-bar, pillow chocolates, old school coffee makers, overpriced room service, iPod docking stations and a newspaper in front of the door.

6. How Millennials select destinations, hotels and restaurants--This is HUGE. Traditional advertisements aren't nearly as effective with Millennials. Millennials rely on each other's opinions on social media to make travel decisions. Instead of a flashy ad or video, Millennials are more likely to access user-generated recommendations on popular review sites like TripAdvisor, Yelp, Airbnb and Oyster to help make their travel decisions.

7. New Millennial amenities at golf resorts--The traditional golf cart is evolving to appeal to Millennials. In Scottsdale, Ariz., the Westin Kierland Resort & Spa offers specially designed Segways to ride and transport clubs on their golf courses. Resorts such as Tetherow in Bend, Ore., Boyne Highlands in Michigan and Princeville at Hanalei on the island of Lanai in Hawaii feature Golfboards, an easy-to-ride electric board equipped to carry clubs that allows golfers to surf the fairways and feels similar to snowboarding, surfing and skateboarding. Millennials love food trucks and you'll increasingly see them at resorts. The PGA National Resort in Spa in Palm Beach Gardens, Florida and Ocean Reef Club and Resort in the Florida Keys now have food trucks.

8. Popular Millennial golf and sports activities at resorts--It's becoming increasingly clear that Millennials will consume the game of golf much differently than Boomers. Fitness is an integral part of the Millennial lifestyle so it's not surprising that pursuits like Footgolf, a hybrid game of soccer and golf on the course, has caught on.  Resorts like Crystal Springs in New Jersey, French Lick Resort in Indiana and TreeTops Resort in Michigan offer Footgolf. You also see an increasing number of Millennials jogging on golf cart paths early in the morning before the course opens.

9. Millennials love to validate their experiences on social media-The "If you didn't post it, it didn't happen" generation love to tell their friends and family about their travel experiences on Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, Twitter, Pinterest, Foursquare and other platforms.

10. Millennials want more connectivity everywhere--It's a no brainer that hotels better have great connectivity, but Millennials also want to be connected on the golf course, too. While many Boomers find it annoying, Millennials don't want to turn off their cell phones on the golf course. Some golf resorts are responding with charging stations on golf carts, increased Wifi access and golf apps. 

10 Most Obnoxious Golf Guys

Golf is a difficult game to play and it's made even tougher when you run into one of these guys:

1. Mulligan Guy--You've seen him in all his glory at the charity pro-am. No, this charitable chum can't just lay down a $20 bill and buy a couple of Mullies a side. He's throwing down some serious coin to buy multiple Mulligans so he and his buddies can take extra whacks to erase errant tee shots, shanked seven irons and duffed pitches. Better still, after all the do-overs, his group walks away with the first place trophy and Mulligan Guy is the celebrated hero.

2. Gambler Guy--He can't play without a little on the side and loves wagering on the links more than Philly Mick or MJ. Gambler Guy knows seemingly every way in the world to wager on the golf course. Nassau, Skins Game, Round Robin, Bingo Bango Bongo....and he wants to play it. If you reject any of these offers, he still wants to bet you. How about a tenski on whether you hit the fairway? or  Maybe 20 bones on hitting a six-footer for birdie. This guy will wager on anything.

3. Grouchy starter Guy--He's the old grubber who has the personality traits of Bobby Knight, Bill Belechick and Donald Trump. He reads all the rules and do's and don'ts with  the compassion of a pissed off  Marine drill instructor, so it's difficult to relax and hit a good drive on the first hole. Lighten up starter guy, it's just golf...

4. Party Guy-Instead of heading to the bowling alley to knock down some pins and brewskis, this guy loves to play golf and ride around in his cart drunk. Early morning tee time? Noooooo problem. This loveable lug usually hits the Bloody Marys and Screwdrivers first (for breakfast), because he typically has a rule of "no beers till after 11:00 a.m". Then, it's a hops and barley fest to the 18th hole. Mr. Party Guy can't recall what he shot for the round, but he knows exactly how many drinks and beers he consumed. The saddest part of the saga is he stumbles out of the golf cart only to get into his car and drive home-- a DUI just waiting to happen.

5. Scorecard Guy--He has to write it all down--the good, bad and ugly. He loves to scratch down a snowman for you when you start circling the drain. No matter how bad you're crashing and burning, he absolutely, positively must know what score you made on a hole. He also gets great joy in leaving the scorecard in the cart (with all of your doubles and triples), so the attendants at the clubhouse can laugh their asses off while they clean your clubs.

6. Bored Assistant Pro Guy--Typically, it's a washed up junior golfer who had a some good rounds on the AJGA, played  college golf and never won more than a few hundred bucks on the mini-tours. He's angry his pro golf career didn't pan out and you, Mr. Customer Golfer, are going to receive a great big dose of his bitterness. He hates you for playing golf while he's stuck behind the counter ringing up greens fees and folding golf shirts.

7. Ball Hunting Guy--When this guy sees a hole with lots of lateral hazards and forested OB, he gets really excited. His rationale: "Geez, it's like hunting for Easter eggs. I can't believe how many Pro V's I'm going to find." Forget the scorecard, this frugal linkster judges his round by how many premium golf balls he finds and stuffs in his bag during a round. Next stop for this budding entrepreneur is Craigslist where his "Like New golf balls" ad will bring in the big dollars.

8. Always Late for Tee Time Guy--This is the guy that texts or calls and says he's only a few minutes away and then shows up 30 minutes late. He's never at the first tee on time... never. Even when you tell him the tee time is 15 minutes earlier than scheduled, he still manages to be late.

9. Masters Logo Guy--His outfit screams, "I went to the Masters and you losers can't even get tickets to the practice rounds." He's got the obligatory matching hat and shirt with the simple but very identifiable logo, and, of course, the golf towel, divot repair tool and other accessories. The real serious Masters Logo Guy has saved the wrapper from his pimento cheese sandwich which he had while roaming the grounds of the Augusta National Golf Club.

10. Prepping For the Champions Tour Guy--If you see a guy in his late 40s and he's got  game, please don't encourage him by saying: "Hey, you ought to make a run at the Champions Tour." Champions Tour Guy just can't seem to enjoy a round of golf because he knows the clock is ticking and he's grinding so hard. He dreams of taking down Langer, Couples and Lehman one day.  Right now, giving beatdowns to 12-handicappers will do just fine till he makes it on Tour.

5 DON'TS on International Golf Travel

Do you want to spend thousands of dollars and screw up your dream international golf vacation?

Uh, no, of course not.

Side-stepping some of the most common golf travel mistakes can help you avoid a nightmare.

I've traveled internationally numerous times and I've compiled a list of the some of the worst mistakes. These aren't bad decisions like selecting a shabby hotel (gee, it sure looked good in the brochure), a goat ranch golf course or a restaurant on a first name basis with the health department.

No, these are less obvious mistakes that might seem insignificant, but they can greatly impact the success of your trip.

Believe it or not, the Guru has made everyone of these mistakes, so I speak from experience. To be sure, though, if you make any of these bad choices once, I bet you'll never do it again.

1. Failure to print reservation details--I made this mistake on a trip a few years back and never again. The fact is, your phone, tablet or computer might not work with the local network upon your arrival. Yes, it's a hassle, but print the darn thing out and place it where you can retrieve it easily. Chances are, you won't need it, but, if you do, you'll be so happy you've got a hard copy.

2. Under-budgeting--Let's face it, nowadays everyone has their hand out.  Don't forget about caddie fees, gratuities, Internet fees, hotel service charges, ATM charges...the list goes on and on. Keep track of these fees on a trip and you'll be amazed at the total by the final day. You've also got to budget in ill-advised spending on golf logo gear you may never wear again and worthless souvenirs that looked a lot better on the store shelf than in your home.

3. Cheap luggage choice--I've gone the cheap route with the crappy zippers and tiny plastic wheels and luggage is one of the worst items to try and save a few bucks. Generally, what happens is you need a new piece of luggage before your big trip and you've got money flying out everywhere so you decide to skimp on a bag or golf club travel bag. DON'T.  Purchase lightweight luggage comprised of good, quality exterior material, sturdy zippers and inline skating quality wheels. For a golf clubs travel bag, I prefer Club Glove, but there are some other good ones like Bag Boy, Ogio and Sun Mountain.

4. Choosing bad travel partners--You absolutely need to have the same attitude and love toward the game of golf. If your travel partners want to play 27 to 36 holes a day and you want to go sightseeing and smell the roses along the way, you need to reconsider.  I prefer balance in a trip with golf and lots of time spent in pubs, restaurants and seeing some sights, while others could care less and just want to tee it up sunrise to sunset. Neither approach is necessarily wrong, but you'll have lots of disagreements if you don't fully discuss the itinerary and trip goals before you leave the U.S.

5. Too much activity, not enough down time--Hey, ya gotta get some sleep. Too many people try and play golf all day, party at the pub and sing karaoke all night and stagger to their 8 o'clock tee time. Playing 36 holes with a hangover and jet lag is not really all that enjoyable. Keep in mind, too, that you'll be walking a lot of golf courses outside the U.S., which is more strenuous than riding around in a cart. Pace yourself and build in time to just relax in your room or go to the spa to recharge so you can fully enjoy the great golf courses you've traveled thousands of miles to play and enjoy.

Top 10 Golf Fashion Don'ts

Golf fashion has evolved rapidly in the past few years.

I mean, just look at Rickie Fowler in his fluorescent outfits, John Daly in his Loudmouth pants and Hunter Mahan in his rapper style golf hats...

Let's face it, though, popular PGA Tour pros can get away with it.

Others can't.

Like these guys...

1. Wearing Your Shirt Out to Hide Your Gut--Nothing says, "Hey, I'm trying to camouflage my massive boiler/beer gut" like guy who wears his golf shirt over his belt.

2. Oversize Non-Golf Belt Buckle--Wearing a buckle sporting a skull or beer company logo might be more appropriate at Daytona Beach Bikefest. On the golf course, ya might want to tone it down a bit.

3. Cargo Shorts--If you're a college student, vacationer on a safari or ornithologist, you're welcome to wear cargo shorts. If you're on a golf course, not so much.

4. Golf Sandals--Can we just leave sandals to surfers. Just because you're in the bunkers all day, doesn't mean you have to sport this footwear.

5. Jeans--It's a great American fashion statement, but just not on the golf course. The fabric doesn't breathe well, there is no pocket room for golf balls, tees and markers and they make you look like a ranch hand with a golf club. Other than that, I guess they're ok, right?

6. Hawaiian Shirts--Please save these for luaus and backyard barbecues. They never looked good on Duffy Waldorf and they don't even look that great on Hawaii golf courses.

7. Visors--Please leave the visors to Brandt Snedeker, Phil Mickelson and Steve Spurrier.

8. Watches--Unless your "Phil the Thrill" scoring some big endorsement dollars for wearing one, you don't really need a watch to tell you how slow the group in front of you is moving.

9. Knickers--Should only be worn by those participating in a hickory stick tournament or by the goofy emcee at a charity golf tournament. Please leave the knickers (plus fours) in the closet.

10. Matching Hat and Shirt with Masters Logo--It's okay to wear a shirt or even hat separately, but when you wear both at the same time it screams: "Hey, I went to the Masters, you didn't, and you wish you could be me."

Top 10 Golf Cart Rules

If you think some people are lousy golfers, wait till you see them drive a golf cart.

When it comes to slow play, the golf cart, uh, I mean the clueless dolt behind the wheel, is one of the main contributors to this malady.

There's nothing worse than standing on tee box as you scan the fairway and see the twosome ahead of you driving aimlessly looking for a ball or chasing down a beer can that fell out of the cart.

Fact is, if you think lots of people don't know the rules of golf, rest assured, they have no idea about golf cart etiquette.

Here are 10 rules to follow:

1. Don't Sit in the Cart at the Tee Box--Sitting in your cart checking your cellphone for emails or putting on sunscreen while your playing partners are teeing off is rude and unsociable. You should be on the tee showing interest in others and keeping an eye out for wayward drives so you can find them quicker as a group.

2. Don't Drive Recklessly--Slamming on the brakes as you pull up to the next tee box, putting pedal to the metal on a downhill cart path and weaving down the fairway after a few too many brews can result in an injury to you or your passenger. Driving drunk in a golf cart is about as stupid as being blasted in your Beemer on the highway.

3. Don't Drive While Others Are Hitting--Be courteous and don't start driving with your rattling golf clubs during somebody's backswing. They may be a hacker and you might not respect their game, but that doesn't give you a license to be a jerk.  Be patient and let them hit before you hit the pedal.

4. Bring Clubs When In Doubt--There's nothing worse than people who leave the cart on the path, walk across the fairway, hit a crappy shot out of a bunker then realize they need another club. Especially near the green, you need to bring a couple of short irons if you have any doubt about which shot you want to execute.

5. Always Park in the Direction of the Green--Parking sideways on a fairway is especially costly if somebody on the tee happens to launch a long bomb in your direction. You're a sitting duck without protection if you're parked sideways.

6. Obey All Signs--If the sign says "Cart Path Only", guess what, that's what you need to do. It's all about respecting the golf course and the maintenance crew who are trying to keep it in top shape. Same goes for those cart direction signs near the green. Don't disregard them and cozy the cart up to the green. The instant you see them, head for the cart path. Also, when the pro at the club says, "90 degree rule today", don't drive erratically on the fairways and act like you never heard the request.

7. Use The Rake--Hey, you see that rake on the back of the cart. You need to use that to rake bunkers. It's not a decorative amenity. More important, don't forget the rake at the bunker because you'll probably need it again.

8. Be Courteous to Players on Other Holes--Be aware of golfers playing on nearby holes. For instance, don't zoom up to a green when a golfer on an adjacent tee box is hitting and you might disturb his concentration. Don't slam on the brakes while someone nearby on another hole is about to hit.

9. Don't Use Your Cellphone in the Cart--Be aware, the golf cart is not some soundproof room where you can blab endlessly to your wife or the poor slugs back at the office. Don't treat the cart like your "office" on the links where you can close a deal while everybody else is teeing off.

10. Don't Be A Slob--Leaving your golf cart full of empty beer cans, Snickers bar wrappers and cigar butts floating in your half-empty cup of soda just isn't cool. You don't have to leave it spotless, but show some class and respect to the people in the cart barn who have to clean up your mess.

The Golf Travel Guru T.V. Is Launched

You gotta see it to believe, right?

If a picture tells a thousand words, then a video tells much more.

The Golf Travel Guru has launched a new Youtube channel, The Golf Travel Guru T.V., where you can see phenomenal footage of great golf courses, resorts and other golf related entities.

I cordially invite you to check out my new channel where the fun has just begun.

If you missed the click two lines up, here's another to The Golf Travel Guru T.V. channel.

10 Annoying Golf Televison Cliches

Like most golfers, I watch lots of golf on television. 

I'll even watch tournaments with the insufferable Chris Berman at the mike, so you know I'm either dedicated or nuts.

Regardless of who's at the microphone, the instant a golf telecast starts, the cliches start rattling off faster than balls flying off mats by hackers at 2-for-1 bucket night at the local driving range.

Here are ten of the most tired and overused cliches that annoy The Golf Travel Guru:

1. "Better than most."--Gary Koch

2. "The pageantry, the majesty, the beauty of the Masters."--Jim Nantz

3. "The Masters, a tradition like no other."--Jim Nantz

4. "You'll never know how good of shot that was."--Mark Rolfing

5. "Tiger's on the prowl."--Just about every golf announcer with a microphone

6. "There's a fried egg."--Chris Berman, king of the cliches

7. "Looks like a bad lie, back to you Johnny."--Roger Maltbie

8. "What a courageous shot."--Ian Baker-Finch

9. "It's in the hole"--Boozed up golf fans at the tee box on par five hole, followed up, of course, by the obligatory "You da man."

10. "It's a 4-metal, not a 4-wood."--Johnny Miller

Finally Some Good News

Hey, this might not equate with the “Cash for Clunkers” deal or the expanded $1 menu at Wendy’s, but at least St. Andrews Links Trust courses aren’t raising their prices.

Green fees for 2010 will stay at 2009 levels.  The high season green free for the Old Course will stay at $211; the new Castle Course  $195; New and Jubilee courses $105; Eden Course $65; Strathtyrum Course $40; and the 9-hole Balgove $19. (Prices quoted are based on Sept. 3rd exchange rate and are subject to fluctuate slightly)

Ready to tee it up in windy ol’ Scotland? You can make tee times at the Trust courses at www.standrews.org.uk

Oh yeah, don’t delay, either, the Advanced Reservations process for play on the Old Course and the Castle Courses opened on September 2^nd and within 15 minutes more than 800 email applications had been received.