Observations From the Guru's Italian Adventure

The Guru recently returned from a month in Italy. I've traveled to Europe two or three times a year  for over twenty years and I thoroughly enjoy the lifestyle and pace of life there. I'm a huge fan of "La Dolce Vita".

Here are some observations from my trip:

Unbelievably Overpriced Airport Food--During my wait before departure at Orlando International Airport, I dined at an on-site Outback Restaurant. While this airport version looks like the same Outback chain I enjoy, it's not even close. I gotta a feeling they have dozens of microwave ovens humming away in the kitchen at this place. While the menu had some of my favorites, the translation was pretty sad. I assume the food was nuked into tastelessness by a microwave. I'm always amazed at the prices these airport vendors charge for absolutely substandard fare.

Flying Woes--Hey, fellow passenger:Is it really that hard to put your carry-on bag in the overhead compartment and get your fat ass out of the aisle when you're boarding a plane? It seems like every flight now, you've got people camped out in the aisle trying to stuff their oversized bag into a too-small compartment. Annoyingly, everyone must wait in line while this inconsiderate oaf tries to find a place for all his or her carry-ons. It's the same thing when you're getting off the plane as well.

Smokers Everywhere--I don't smoke and it generally doesn't bug me to be around someone sucking on a heater. In the U.S., smokers are typically hard to find these days. In Europe though, especially in Italy, people are smoking as if they've never heard of emphysema, cancer or heart disease. You see all sorts of teens and old-timers inhaling hard and fast. What ruins it for non-smokers is that many of the sidewalk cafes in Italy let them puff away while you're dining al fresco. Let's just say, I'm not a big fan of second-hand smoke wafting into my Pasta Carbonara.

AirB&B a Winner--This trip was the first time I used AirB&B and I was impressed on many levels. First, the online communication and coordination between AirB&B and the apartment owner with me was exceptional. Second, the owner, Samuele, was a super Italian guy, who helped with the luggage (nothing says they have to) and left a basket full of breakfast goodies. Add to that, a stunning view of the port of Trieste, a safe and convenient neighborhood and Mrs. Guru and I had a great week for a very reasonable price.

Staying in a Villa--About five years ago, I decided to eschew hotels in Europe and try to find alternative places to stay like villas and apartments. I got tired of the tiny bathrooms and the saggy beds you get at many hotels that bill themselves as 3-star properties. Let's face it, these dumps wouldn't stay in business two weeks competing against value-priced American chains like Hyatt Place, Hilton Home2 and Holiday Inn Express. You'd be amazed at the type of phenomenal places you can stay at in Europe for very reasonable rates if you just put in a good online search. I stayed at the Villa Bottacin in Trieste, which has a swimming pool, beautifully landscaped lawn and garden, terrace for dining at breakfast and an apartment with a balcony offering a city view. All for less than 100 bucks a night. La Dolce Vita, indeed.

5 Things I Hate About Air Travel

I love to travel. I’ve traveled internationally since I was a kid and I’ve pretty much seen it all.

As the Golf Travel Guru, not surprisingly, I spend a lot of time in airports and jets.

As we all know, the air travel experience has gotten progressively worse over the past few years...

In the past few months, I’ve flown from Orlando to Venice, Italy, Marsh Harbor, Bahamas, Cancun, Mexico, Seattle, Washington and Panama City, Florida. During my flights, I took a few minutes to make some notes on the air travel experience.

Here are some of the things that drive the Golf Travel Guru crazy:

1. Extremely Overpriced Food At Airports—Apparently it’s legal at airports to sell hot dogs for $9 and beer for $8.  That’s what I paid on a recent trip. What did I get for this royal sum? A hot dog that contained more salt than a person needs in a week with a stale bun that made sawdust look appetizing. My craft beer was a forgettable concoction that tasted like a can of Natural Light that was left on a porch in Florida on a hot July day.

2. Clueless Overhead Luggage Passengers—I mean what does it take to walk down the aisle of a plane and quickly place your carry-on bag in the overhead bin.  Oh nooooooo, these people have to languish in the aisle contemplating, I guess, "the meaning of life" while 50 other passengers wait patiently in line behind them. Here’s some advice: Put your damn bag in the bin, or just step out of the aisle and let everybody go by. P.S.: Don’t have some oversize bag that takes assistance from three flight attendants to stuff it in the bin.

3. Zone Busters—When the call over the intercom says “All passengers in zone 1 can board.”, it never fails that Mr. and Mrs. Zone 4 is up there ready to board. Puhleese, look at your boarding pass and enter the plane when your zone is called. It’s really not that difficult, is it?

4. Clueless Cell Phone Users—On airport concourses, I always seem to get behind the dimwit on his phone wandering aimlessly back and forth while a pack of people can’t pass the inconsiderate dolt. He or she is scrolling through social media posts or talking to the poor sap that has to pick them up from the airport. Regardless, just show some consideration for other passengers who can’t wait to get OUT of the airport.

5. Off-Site Parking—You practically need a home equity loan to afford near-terminal parking these days. Consequently, like millions of others, I park at a satellite lot. When I arrive after a flight, I typically wait sometimes up to a half hour till the transport van shows up. Are there any on-time van drivers anymore?